Gossip. It could very easily be the woman’s besetting sin. Whereas men may struggle with keeping their thoughts pure, a woman’s battle is against gossip.
A Woman’s Battle is Against Gossip
I’m a talker. Anyone who knows me well at all, knows this. But more and more I’m realizing that all my talking may not always be good. In fact, many times my talking could be the very opposite of good.
It didn’t use to bother me. In fact, for many years, I didn’t see gossip for what it really was. I thought I was “just venting”, or participating in “normal woman talk”. After all, what do you do when a friend, family member or husband annoys or hurts you? You call up another friend/family member and complain to them. Usually the person you call takes your side and the gab fest is on.
As women we are emotional. We feel so much and we just “have to vent”. It’s normal and it happens daily.
But is it right?
I really don’t know what changed for me. I don’t know when I realized that a woman’s battle is against gossip. I cannot say I had some great epiphany, or that God told me directly, or even that I read something in the bible that “just clicked”. But sometime last year I began feeling almost disgusted at myself.
After being with a group of women, or even just one woman and having a typical conversation consisting mostly of gossip, the conversation would replay through my head.
I would hear myself speaking unkind words. Mocking another’s beliefs. Tearing down, tearing down. It rang unkind in my ears and I would find myself wondering if God was pleased with my words and in my heart, I knew he wasn’t.
Why is it that we must use words as weapons? Even when the person cannot hear my words; once spoken, those words have a strange ability to make their way straight to that person.
After awhile of this constantly happening, me vomiting unkind words, and then hearing them in my head for hours later, I decided that enough was enough. No more gossip. No more talking about people in an unkind manner. No matter how hurt or frustrated I was with a person, I wasn’t going to talk bad about them anymore.
But here is the thing, it was such a habit, so ingrained in me, that I still gossiped. In spite of my loathing towards it, I still said unkind things.
So what changed? The person I talked to.
Let me tell you. If I’m not talking aloud, I’m talking in my head. I literally cannot shut up, it would seem.
So, when I felt hurt. When I felt angry. When I needed someone to talk to that would understand me, I talked to the Lord. And that’s when things started getting better.
When Jason hurts me. When my mother makes me mad. When the family I work for annoys me. I take it to the one who truly understands, and I ask him to help me understand as well.
I find myself crying out to God so much more. Just begging him to help me, and to give me the wisdom, strength and courage to go on. Instead of opening my mouth and saying stuff that I shouldn’t, I’m crying to my heavenly father, and not only does he comfort me in a way that mere humans cannot, he is also changing me.
I cannot change my husband. I cannot change my mother, or anyone else that may annoy or hurt me. But, God can change me if I allow him. I don’t want things to stay the same, I want to grow and learn and become the person God created me to be. I cannot blame others, I cannot allow my circumstances to hold me back, and I can only surrender myself to the one who created me.
Does gossip still slip out? Yes. In fact, just after having a long conversation with the Lord and praying that he would set a door against my lips; I messed up. I was on the phone and Jason came home. I told my caller that hubby was home so I couldn’t say anymore. Clearly, if I couldn’t say it with him around, I shouldn’t have said it when he wasn’t.
A woman’s battle is against gossip and with the Lord I can win. But oh, what a hard battle it is. I want to only ever say kind things about others.
Titus 2 says this: “To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Discreet is loosely interpreted to mean that she doesn’t air her family’s dirty laundry.
From what I read in this verse, I have to wonder if God considers gossip to be blasphemy.
My heart’s cry is that I my mouth will only be used for good and not evil, and most of all, that I will learn how and when to keep my mouth shut.
Is your battle against gossip as well? I would love to hear if you’ve battled this and been given victory!