One thing I have been trying to work on lately is becoming a submissive wife. Not a door mat, or someone who just agrees with everything he says, but submissive.
Becoming a Submissive Wife:
Trust me, I am anything but a doormat. If I disagree with something or someone it is likely that I will walk away or state that we will have to “agree to disagree” because that isn’t my viewpoint at all. In cases where I hold in esteem the person I am disagreeing with I tend to ask them to explain themselves because I cannot understand where they are coming from.
By asking a person to explain why they think “such-and-such”, I am showing that I respect what they have to say. But if I feel myself superior or the other person a bit “loony” I quickly agree to disagree.
So based on what I said above, Jason and I should have any arguments right? The problem is, we do. Lost and lots of them which we sometimes just call “heated discussions”.
You see, I don’t consider Jason “less than me” so I rarely agree to disagree or walk away. Instead, when we disagree on a subject I show him great disrespect by failing to ask him “why?”. Instead I jump on the bandwagon and point out everything that I think is wrong about what he thinks.
Becoming a submissive wife doesn’t mean that I will blindly agree with him on everything. Instead it means that I will show him honor and respect by asking why he thinks that.
I have noticed many times that our conversations will suddenly get heated over silly things. I have learned to step back a little and calmly state that I don’t think we are on the same page, then I ask him to explain himself a little better.
Often when I am telling him something I want to do (homemaking stuff, or decor), he won’t understand what I am saying. We do talk different languages after all. 🙂 As a result he will get the wrong idea and possibly start pointing out why it wouldn’t work. Again, all I have to do is state that I don’t think I am explaining myself right and that I need to try again.
That works wonders and I wish I could remember to do it more often. Just being able to take my feminine emotions out of the equation for a few moments will quickly deescalate an argument.
But I forget too many times. Why? Because I am so caught up in what I think is right, that I forget I could be wrong. So many times our tone of voice sets the stage for a calm discussion or an argument.
To me, becoming a submissive wife means that I will honor and respect his opinions. It doesn’t mean I have to always agree, but it does meant that I give him a chance to fully explain himself before I “pass judgement”.
I want to be a Godly example to others and especially our children by showing my husband respect. I know that if mommy respects daddy, then the children will too.
Becoming a submissive wife does not come natural to me. I am far too opinionated and tend to think far more highly of myself than I should. However, God placed me under the protection of my husband for a reason, and when I disrespect Jason, I also disrespect my creator.
I want to clarify. I do not always agree with Jason, and sometimes after we talk together it may even come out that I am right. I do stand up for myself and my beliefs, but I try hard to respect his and keep an open mind. And the truth is…. much of the time, he is completely correct in what he is saying. Hard pill to swallow at times!