I cannot do it all, folks. Nope. I would like to think that I can; I even tell myself that I can at least half a dozen times a day. “Get your chin up, you can do this Kendra!” But the truth is, I cannot do it all.
Here’s the thing, when you try to do it all, you basically fail at it all. Okay, so maybe you don’t fail, but you certainly cannot do as well as you possibly could otherwise. I definitely lean towards the type A personality; not only do I take on more than I should at times, I also feel it is a personal failure when something goes wrong.
I cannot do it all, all the time, but I try…
I try to be a good wife.
I try to be a good mother.
I try to be a good nanny.
I try to keep a clean house.
I try to blog.
I try to cloth diaper.
I try to keep us all in clean clothes.
I try to budget wisely and not buy stuff that I can make.
I try to cook at least 75% of our meals from scratch with non-gmo and organic foods.
I try to make good wholesome lunch supplies for Jason’s lunches.
I try, I try, I try.
Now here’s the deal. Most of the time I actually CAN do it all, or nearly all. But then there comes times like now. The past 3 weekends we have not been home. There’s holiday stuff, church stuff, family stuff…. all wonderful and I enjoy it.
But, if I’m not home on Saturday; my one full day to do laundry, clean house, and bake, what happens? I fall behind. Behind as in piles of laundry, baskets of dirty diapers that need washed, and clean diapers that need stuffed. Behind as in hubby has no lunch items. Behind as in dirty floors and filthy bathrooms. Behind as in piles and piles of dishes.
And finally in desperation I hang my head and whisper, “I cannot do it all, I really cannot do it all”. Then it happens, the floods of emotion, the feelings of failure and wanting to give up, the desire to go to sleep and never wake up.
I could spiral into depression at this point, and I have in the past. But I hear a whisper, I hear my heavenly father tell me that I’m not a failure, that he made me perfect and that in my weakness, I can call on his strength. I learn once again that I can give myself grace, that I don’t have to be perfect and that sometimes, just sometimes, I can let things go.
So today I stand (actually I’m sitting at the moment) here and confidently say, I cannot do it all right now, and that’s okay.
If you stop by my house in the next couple weeks you are going to find dirty disposables going out into the trash. You will find bread, tortillas, snacks and other foods that I didn’t make and they may not even fall into the very healthy category. You may find cobwebs in the corners and cat hair on the couches. Who knows, you may even find a pile of dirty dishes.
If you stop by the blog, you’re going to find fewer posts. There are some that I’ve promised to do and some that are already written, but it may be a bit quiet around here for awhile.
And what will you find if you see me? You will find a girl who has said “right now I cannot do it all, so I’m going to choose what’s really important and focus on that.”
This song from 7th Time Down played on the radio awhile back and I still cry everytime I hear it. I will cry out to God, he’s the one I’m running to.
Deborah says
December 14, 2014 at 11:14 pmOh Kendra! My heart always goes out to new mommies. I have learned to tell myself with every new baby that I get three months of grace from anything. We all know you’re doing awesome and picking the right choice 😉
Blessings New Mama,
Kendra says
December 15, 2014 at 9:29 amThank you so much Deborah. I need to realize that a lot more than I do 🙂
Janeen says
December 15, 2014 at 12:52 amHi Kendra, I posted on the link up and just wanted to double check if the topic was okay. I blog about families and finance, from a christian perspective. My family has come to believe that truly, “the borrower is slave to the lender” – Proverbs 22:7. If you’d rather I keep my link ups to the more “homemaking” topics, please let me know. Thanks for the opportunity to be a part of your link-up!
Kendra says
December 15, 2014 at 9:35 amJaneen, financially matters are huge with the Proverbs 31 woman and a topic that I enjoy writing on myself. Your link is quite welcome!
And yes, we definitely feel as though we are enslaved to our loan. 🙂 When asked if we rent or own, my response is we owe, lol I just don’t think I will truly feel like we own until we have paid it off.
Nicki Schroeder says
December 15, 2014 at 8:50 amNone of us can do it all, and how exhausting it must be for those who still like to claim they can! So glad you are able to show authenticity in your little space Kendra. Way to encourage!
Kendra says
December 15, 2014 at 9:31 amThanks Nicki, I think some personalities are definitely able to do more than others, but at some point we all need to be able to admit that we just cannot at times. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and linking up
Susie@homemaker-mom says
December 15, 2014 at 10:40 amI feel the same way Kendra when I am not home to “tend” to my home. Things get out of hand very fast. I am hoping today is my day I can remedy that & focus on home. Thank you for hosting a link up I will look forward to it this week! (hugs)
Kendra says
December 15, 2014 at 12:50 pmI was able to clean my house and do laundry on Saturday. It’s crazy amazing just how much better I feel when I’m not living in dirt!
karen b says
December 15, 2014 at 1:46 pmKendra, as a mother their will be many times in your life that you will have to tell yourself “I can’t do it all” even w/ teenagers in the house & their help I still struggle some days getting it all done. When we work away from home a day or more a week & have busy evenings or weekends LIFE happens……..I’m gone @ least 2 days myself (I clean houses). Give yourself grace & it will be ok 🙂 blessings to you as you get through the next few weeks ♥
Kendra says
December 15, 2014 at 1:58 pmThanks Karen,
It will all be okay, it always is. 🙂 My amazing hubby helped me on Saturday and I now feel like I have a clean house again. Makes a world of a difference!
Mrs Abella says
December 16, 2014 at 7:25 amKendra, many of us have been where you are now.
Just know this—if we could do it all ourselves, why would we need Jesus?
We weren’t designed to do it all, that’s a myth of the last 60 or so years, that we must be able to be supermom. We aren’t.
Dust bunnies come and go, and they even have great grandkids, but tending your precious baby is far more important than the family of dust bunnies. Anyone can wipe those, but YOU are the one God chose to tend your baby!
Kendra says
December 16, 2014 at 10:58 amI definitely have dust bunny families! However, we were home on Saturday so I put baby on my back and we cleaned! 🙂
Bekki@a better way to homeschool says
December 19, 2014 at 12:22 amBless you and may the Lord give you wisdom and discernment in the busy season of life that you are in. May you see the “things around you” like cobwebs and laundry the way the Lord does! The people around you are the most important things:).
Ps- I love that you were so transparent, even sharing pictures of less than perfectness. Although my five kids are older now, so many new moms (or moms with small children) feel like they always need to get it all Done. It is defeating. It is deflating.
Something magic happens when we share the realities. People are freed!
Kendra says
December 19, 2014 at 7:09 amThanks Bekki 🙂 Holidays are probably the hardest on moms for sure. And I know for me, just to admit that I cannot do it right now, and to give myself permission to purchase foods that I would normally make, and use disposable diapers right now, was certainly freeing. It was also shocking when I got to the register at the store though! lol I’m glad that it’s just a season. 🙂