There was that one time, that I didn’t tell my husband. Every-one else in my family knew, a few close friends knew, but Jason didn’t know because I didn’t tell him.
Keeping secrets in marriage should be reserved for Christmas and birthdays, and I knew that. But I didn’t tell my husband.
Let me back up a bit and try to explain my warped and twisted reasoning in why I didn’t tell him. I was upset about it, so was every one else. It didn’t seem fair (it really wasn’t) and to be honest I didn’t want to talk about it with anybody.
As much as I become upset over stuff, Jason does even more so. I told myself that I didn’t need to hear Jason’s ranting and raving, I just needed to calm myself down and let it go. After all, I needed to feel positive about the outcome of this and well, Jason isn’t always positive. 🙂
My conscience pricked me, but I justified myself and I didn’t tell my husband. Really though, what was I thinking? I mean the whole family knew; there was no way he would not find out.
And of course, it was inevitable when less than a week later, we all find ourselves around a campfire and people started talking. Jason is sitting there with a puzzled look on his face, and I’m sitting there feeling like a stupid idiot. “You should have told him, You should have told him,” starts running through my head like a freight train.
Finally Jason blurts out, “what are y’all talking about?” Uh Oh. As if in slow motion, all noise stops and all eyes turn in surprise to my husband, and then to me in disbelief. The silence is broken by my brother’s ungracious outburst of “What the —-, Kendra you didn’t tell him?!”
At this point I have quickly realized what I should have known to begin with, telling Jason in the first place and dealing with his “negative” remarks would’ve been far easier than the hot seat I was currently sitting in. Everyone is looking at me as if I am a wart (truth is, I felt like one), but worse was the look of hurt in Jason’s eyes.
Because I didn’t tell my husband, I lost respect in the eyes of my family and I really hurt Jason’s feelings.
In retrospect, telling Jason would’ve actually lessened the burden and we could’ve worked through the angry and annoyed part together, as a team the way we are supposed to.
Lesson learned. Keeping secrets in marriage is never a good idea.
Except for this time: Things You Shouldn’t Tell Your Husband.