Some times I miss the guy I married. You know, you don’t intend to change your spouse (or maybe you do), but change happens.
He doesn’t come home every day looking for his kiss. The yard that used to look so nice is often a mess. The garden keeps popping up weeds.
I was certainly in a bad mood the other day and all I could think about was how he had changed, and not for the better mind you! I was so frustrated and the seeds of bitterness were growing fast.
So I am grumping and growling inside my head and thinking “it’s just not fair, I miss the guy I married. This guy I am living with now, well, he can’t be the one I married.”
But as I am calming down, a very alarming thought hits me. “Maybe he changed because I did?!”
Maybe he doesn’t give me a kiss when he comes home, because I am no longer at the door waiting for him. Maybe the yard looks rotten because I am no longer out there helping him. Maybe, just maybe, I’m the one who changed.
Sad thought.
Maybe, if I would quit being so selfish and become the helpmeet that I was created to be, then I would once again find the man I married. So the change starts right here, right now.
On The Time Warp Wife‘s blog she shared how she was starting a gratitude journal in regards to her husband. So in the next 7-8 weeks leading up to Thanksgiving I am going to share 10 things about my husband that I am grateful for.
#1 He loves animals. In fact, if the two of us go into a pet store together it’s dangerous. Not only on the wallet but time. We have to go around and look at all the new animals and the fish. Then we get the cat food and then we often buy new toys or something for our pets. 
#2 He is amazing with plants. And when he stays on top of things our garden thrives like none other!
#3 He makes me laugh. (need I say more?)
#5 He puts up with all of my crazy ideas. Yes, I have crazy ideas, who-da thunk it? 
#6 I love how he comes home from work and tells me he has a surprise for me. It’s usually another plant for the flower beds, but still, it’s the thought.
#7 When he holds me in his arms, I feel safe. (That is a big one!)
#8 He tries all my experiment dishes. (did you know I don’t use recipes very often?)
#9 Not only does he try them all, but he usually eats them with gusto! Good to know he likes my cooking. hehe
#10 How just hearing his voice on the phone makes me smile.
I really could just keep going. You see, even though I miss the guy I married, I realize I would also miss the man he is now. We are growing together, winning and failing and I realize that, that’s just life.
I link up at these Parties!
Hello, my name is Kendra. I am married to an amazing young man
named Jason, whom I lovingly call hubby when I’m writing. The only way I could ever explain our relationship is to use words like: crazy, silly, funny… well you get the point. He’s perfect for me! 
It is true, some times we want the past instead if the better future God intends for us, change can be uncomfortable most times, but we must embrace it to make progress as couples. Thanks a lot for hosting us again Kay, do have a super blessed week!
Love
Ugochi recently posted..HOLD ME THROUGH THE NIGHT
I completely agree with your assessment! So often, I think the same thing, and end up at the same conclusion…I am the one who has changed, and a lot of times, it’s my less than impressive qualities that has caused the changes in him…(nagging,etc.)
The saying that we wives have a lot of power over our hubbys is quite true, to bad most don’t recognize the true meaning of it.
During the time of bench seats in all automobiles, a couple before marriage, always sat close when going somewhere in the car. A while after marriage, she said as they were traveling, “We used to sit a lot closer than this.”
He said, “I didn’t move.”
Kendra, I really enjoyed your blog this morning.
Well said Kendra! And as you are married longer you will come to love what you have become together! I wouldn’t go back for anything! It really does get better if you are totally committed to staying together and staying in love!
Jill Flory recently posted..Deer Head on my Wall
This was a great post. It makes me want to be more mindful to be the woman that my husband can’t wait to come home to every evening! Thanks!
I think that should be the desire of all wives. To be the woman he can’t wait to come home to.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. My husband quoted this to me on our wedding day. Finding the good in our husbands will always change our attitude. One of my biggest frustrations is the wives getting together and ending up with a husband bashing. I counseled many soon-to-be wives and told them to never let anyone hear you speaking ill of your husband. 37 years later I still think it’s good advice! You are a wise woman!
Pamela recently posted..A Sheltering Home
I recently read a post of what can happen when women get together and begin complaining. The blogger called it the mad wives mob. It really made me think and definitely reminded me to shut up, when I really would like to complain
You know, I’d never thought about that. I certainly do have the same thoughts and while I know I play a part in it, I’d never considered how I’d changed since that blissful marriage day. Thanks for making me think!
Jelli recently posted..MMM: 4 Ways to Get More Wear out of Infant Clothing
Thanks for stopping by Jelli
Awesome post.
Thank you Denise.
What a great reminder to ALWAYS check our hearts and motives first when it comes to our marriage… Bless you!
Kathleen recently posted..Monday’s Message: Three Issues Close to My Heart
So very true this is! We are on a constant journey of change. I like the idea of a gratitude journal for your hubby. I’ve done this before, and it was a major help!
Leigh Ann @ Intentional By Grace recently posted..Relational Intimacy is a Pathway to Holiness
I have never really done it, so it may be hard at first to think of things to share. Not that he’s not awesome, but that I’m not in a habit of looking for his awesomeness.
Well played Kendra. Just when I start thinking I’m all amazing and wonderful, I read your post and realize I need to work on me. Like I don’t have enough stuff to do. Seriously now (did you note the sarcasm?), I’m excited to have read this. I love hearing a woman talk about her spouse in an uplifting way!! Great one this week!!
Kelly recently posted..5 Ingredient Pumpkin Muffins
I’m always a day late and a dollar short when I finally get around to reading your posts…especially these past couple weeks that I’ve been sick!
This post is truly a “must read” for married couples. Coming up on my 12 year wedding anniversary, I’ve found that I’ve asked myself this same question many times. It wasn’t until recently that I’ve realized that I’ve also changed and even though my husband has changed, I’ve changed more. Sometimes not accepting that you’ve changed is what holds both of you from going forward. This is true in my case.
I am going to have to make Monday’s the day to stop here indefinitely.
Kim R recently posted..Bringing "IT" Back
Great post! Something to think about for sure, i.e. the positives.
Great post! That quote by Albert Einstein is SO true…but it doesn’t have to be! Thank for you encouraging us to strive for excellence and for linking up to Thrive @ Home!
Jenni Mullinix recently posted..Learning to Let Go
What a beautiful and encouraging post. So rarely do we think to look at ourselves first. Thank you.
Alesha <3
Alesha recently posted..Healthy Apple Pie Minis
It’s true, we see the “mote in our brother’s eyes, but fail to realize the beam in our own” Matt 18
Thanks for stopping by
What a inspirational post, Kendra. You’ve become quite the blogger!
This is such a beautiful post friend! It’s speaking to me BIG TIME!!! I love the idea of posting why you love your husband, I think I will do that for a while too! xo
Nicole @ The Style Hatch recently posted..What I Wore
I need to start again
I have my list, but haven’t posted for awhile.