You may have noticed my overall avoidance of controversial subjects here at A Proverbs 31 Wife. I have very strong beliefs on most subjects and yet I constantly find myself carefully Avoiding Controversial Subjects or tip-toeing around most of them.
This has bothered me for some time.
Am I avoiding speaking truth because I want others to like me?
Am I not posting controversial stuff because I’m scared of losing followers?
Am I ashamed of the Truth?
These questions and many others have occurred to me time after time. I’ve prayed about it; “God if you have something for me to say, let me say it disregarding what others think, I will be bold for you.”
I still don’t have a full answer to those questions, but talking with my mom and a scripture verse that recently occurred to me have given me peace about where I am here.
Why I’m Okay with Avoiding Controversial Subjects:
My blog’s mission isn’t a “voice crying in the wilderness”, the mission here at A Proverbs 31 Wife is to “Encourage, Uplift and Empower wives and mothers”.
The world needs voices crying in the wilderness. It needs blogs like Matt Walsh’s, those who will get on their soapbox and cry out for God. But we all come from different places and we all have different hurts and struggles. Sometimes we just need a safe place.
And maybe that’s just it. I will be a voice of truth in a safe place. I hope I never give words that tickle the ear, but mean nothing. I hope to never give words that condone sin or give a false sense of security in sin.
I want to challenge you my readers to seek God, to seek truth, to open your eyes to the world around us and see what’s happening. But I will be gentle with your heart. I don’t know where you’ve been, so instead of showing you where you are going wrong, I want to show you where you can go right.
I’m just a sower of seeds. In 1 Corinthians 3:6 we read: I (Paul is speaking here) have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase.
It is my prayer that the seeds of truth that are sown here will take root in your heart and later another will water and that someday God will give the increase.
So I speak the truth, but I speak softly. I don’t need to yell and tell you where you are going wrong. Chances are, if you are going wrong, you know it.
When I do tackle controversial subjects, I am careful with my wording. I try hard to not use offensive language or to draw lines. I want to draw circles, circles that draw you in, circles that show you that God’s love reaches to all.
I try to be, yes, politically correct. Here’s why: Luke 17:2 “It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.”
Some people are just too easily offended. I KNOW.
But I do not wish to hurt my brothers and sisters in Christ. So I am careful. Christ spoke out against the scribes and pharisees because he knew their hearts. I can see the outside of a person, I can see their horrible hateful words. But I cannot see their hearts, so I am careful not to judge them unworthy of Christ.
My dear sisters in Christ who are reading this. I know sometimes we feel like we need to just shout at the world. But the world is shouting too, so our voices may just get lost.
And here’s the thing, online it’s hard to know where the person is coming from. Just a bit of incorrect grammar or a single misspelled word can really change the entire tone of a post. Offline I am more vocal and avoiding controversial subjects isn’t as big a deal. People can see my face, and more easily my heart.
Just remember, the post you are seeing online isn’t even half the story. So you cannot truly make a good judgment on the issue.
If you are in the same place I was, worried that you are a coward for avoiding controversial subjects, just remember; sometimes it’s the quiet voices that are actually heard. So let’s whisper peace and love. Let’s quietly show God’s grace, and then, when asked (if asked), be bold for Christ.
If you were to ask me my opinion on anything from gay marriage, to adultery, to vaccines, I will have an answer backed with scripture for you. But I urge you to seek those answers from the bible yourself. Because ultimately, God is the authority here. Not me.
I don’t know if my ramblings here have made sense or not, but I’ve learned that avoiding controversial subjects doesn’t make one a coward. Sometimes it’s a desire for peace.
Do you find yourself avoiding controversial subjects online?
Carissa says
August 23, 2015 at 8:29 pmI love this! I’ve been struggling with this myself. I’ve mostly avoided controversial topics and I often feel guilty about that. But I want to write what I know well, avoid arguments, and just generally bring a smile and encouragement to my readers. God will gift others with the words to speak to certain issues. I just need to find peace with playing my role.
Rebekah says
August 23, 2015 at 9:20 pmI relate to this, as I too avoid controversy and have questioned before if I’m being a “weak” Christian by doing so. However, like you, the purpose of my blog is to uplift and encourage and to be a loving light to all people regardless of their beliefs. I have such a wide variety of readers from all different belief systems. I try to live by that adage of letting your life speak instead of being loudly opinionated with my words. I think we all have a different purpose of how we reach others and we each have to authentically follow our own personal callings.
Kendra says
August 24, 2015 at 12:30 pmAbsolutely! Your site even more than mine reaches a wide array of belief systems. Your light can shine brightly without stuffing your beliefs in their faces. We just sow the seeds and another will water. This is God’s perfect design and when we do all for his glory, he WILL be glorified!
Brittany @ Equipping Godly Women says
August 23, 2015 at 9:30 pmMakes complete sense. No matter how careful you are, it is SOOO easy to say something that is taken the wrong way online. Sometimes it feels like I can’t write anything without about a thousand disclaimers lol. But I’m still very proud to be one of those few that will tackle the big, controversial subjects. I know it’s definitely not for everyone, but I love doing it and it works for me 🙂 Christians know what the Bible says (well, kind of lol), but they don’t always know how to practically live that out in real life, especially when it comes to the tough issues. There’s waaaay too many people shouting. I like to be the voice of reasonable, loving practicality. And I’m not always very good at being encouraging lol.
Kendra says
August 24, 2015 at 12:26 pmThe world truly needs us all. If you aren’t good at encouraging, then your gifts are in that area and you should focus on where your gifts are.
Rachel @ Wife, Then Mama says
August 24, 2015 at 12:47 amAlthough I don’t blog much right now, I do avoid controversial subjects on my blog most of the time (abortion being an exception, because killing babies should be considered wrong by EVERYONE and I don’t care who I offend if they don’t find killing babies to be offensive) but in the future I might become a louder voice for right and wrong. I feel like the majority is silent and its allowing the minorities (not speaking racially here) to rule the country and change the course of our nation, which is a sad, sad thing.
Kendra says
August 24, 2015 at 12:25 pmKilling babies should be considered wrong by everyone for certain. Speaking out is very important but sometimes a quiet word or two at the right time will do more good than hundreds of words shouted daily.
I’ve not yet written on abortion. Mainly because I know that if I go into abortion, I will end up talking about vaccines because so many of them either use fetal cells for development or actually contain fetal cells. It’s just not a bridge I’m ready to cross or feel like I should just yet.
I just pray that when God is ready for me to write it, that I will be able to.
Linda says
October 22, 2015 at 12:35 amAmen.
Jill says
August 24, 2015 at 9:19 amThis my dear friend and niece is so very very well said! I love your heart and I am so proud of you for what you have built her on your blog. God has given you a platform and I am so very proud of you for using it for Him!!! Be blessed today and ways!
Kendra says
August 24, 2015 at 12:38 pmThank you so much A. Jill! God is the one who is guiding me here because sometimes I will write something that seems rather blah and yet will receive comments and emails from people who have felt encouraged. That can only be from God.
Carol says
August 24, 2015 at 9:46 amHi Kendra, The ways and thoughts of people have been controversial since the fall of Adam and Eve. Nothing new there. Our responses to the controversies should be God’s word. That’s what Jesus did as Satan tempted Him in the wilderness. As born-again Christians God appoints His own to be “watchmen on the wall”. Reaction and brashness doesn’t work, but only makes others dig in deeper to their own human ways and thoughts. Speaking the truth in love isn’t always easy, but it is a must. The fruit of the Holy Spirit working in us and through us to the world, at least beginning in our our little corner of the planet. Following God’s lead always as to what to speak and when. Not to mention being obedient to Him when we are not to speak. All this wrapped up in prayer. We must all remain faithful and obedient as servants of the Most High God, receiving His grace and mercy in Christ moment by moment, to His glory and our good.
Thank you for your insightful post today. May our Lord continue to bless you and your family! In Christ, Carol
Kendra says
August 24, 2015 at 12:19 pmThank you Carol, that is such an important thing to keep in mind. If we allow him to open and shut our mouths, much can be done for his glory!
T Miller says
September 10, 2015 at 6:23 pmI love reading your posts. I’ve been struggling with this for some time too. I believe my reluctance to approach controversial topics comes from fear. I fear I might say something wrong that could lead someone away from Christ, I fear I’m not smart enough to say the right thing and constantly have to research but I also tend to be a people-pleaser, so I fear confrontation that could lead to others thinking poorly of me too. Plus, I’ve noticed many people are just downright mean and that makes me uncomfortable. I’ve been trying to make an effort to stand up for my beliefs more and in the kindest way possible, share the truth with others.
I recently replied to a status my atheist friend posted on his fb wall touching on the county clerk story. I ended up in a discussion with a few of his other liberal friends (strangers to me) where I cited a few facts – excluding my personal opinion – to which they began calling me names and making threatening statements. Mind you they didn’t even know me! I don’t know if interjecting a different perspective helped or not with a group of people who were only interested in agreeing with each other, not actually having an open-minded conversation. But I felt compelled to let God lead me through that valley anyway.
I want to be bold, not have a timid spirit, and I want to place my confidence in Christ. I want to be salt and light. So, I’ve been making an effort to speak up more. While I know we must walk in love and peace, I almost feel like the maybe over-politeness of Christians has kind of led to some of the problems we’ve gotten ourselves into as a country. I’m still working out the balance though.
Kendra says
September 14, 2015 at 9:58 amWhen we allow God to lead us and direct our words, we will be bold for him when the time comes, and even the name calling and hate won’t matter because we know truth. When the name calling and hate hurts us, we should back up and make sure God is indeed the one leading us.
It sounds like you are indeed seeking him and allowing him to guide you.
I think the fear that we aren’t smart enough or that we have to have all the facts is definitely a type A thing, as I hate to look stupid or be wrong.
But on people being mean… those are the ones that I realize are hurting and many times nothing I say will change their minds so I just try to love and ignore. Not sure if that makes sense or not! 🙂
Linda says
October 22, 2015 at 1:06 amHoney it does make sense I thank God I was showed here today. This site has given me so much in less than 15 minutes than any other site. I almost started crying just now. I really feel so emotional so very happy. Can’t wait to let my family hear all about this site. God Bless you, and all your family, and all who are on your site. At my age I feel God is close Jesus is leading me to you. I have replied a few times tonight about my family, and how much God, and Jesus was, and is in my home, and my children’s homes. Yes when people are being mean, and hateful it’s very important to ignore, and by showing it with love it will sink in eventually. People when hurting, and depressed will see in time fighting back is not a Christian thing to do. Trying to explain sometimes make them worse just showing your love, and ignoring the situation is important, but if they’re in a dangerous situation it’s important to calm them down in a loving way sometimes it works when you joke a bit, and laugh a little they calm down. I’ve been in situations as a nurse when it was better to be calm, and not be to pushy. Then I ask if they would like to say a prayer 9 out of 10 times they will calm down, and pray with me. Talking with a gentle voice, and looking square into their eyes they’ll realize they can trust you. On Speaking up on a site it’s not as easy. Better to let them get to know you before you say what you need to say. I do understand I really do.
Kendra says
October 22, 2015 at 2:11 pmYou sound like a great nurse!
I once told my mom that I thought the best gift a person could give was a laugh. Laughter doesn’t fix anything, but just for a moment it lets one forget, and that moment is priceless.
Prayer is another gift. As you pointed out it works best when one is scared or upset rather than angry. I imagine you see nursing as your ministry to others in the same way I often view this site as my ministry.
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your heart.