Children change relationships. Really.
Jason and I were the “kids” goofy, picking on each other, always on the go. Then we had Kolton. We were still kids, but someone we had a baby to keep alive as well. So things change a little.
Then another child comes along and things change more.
Children change relationships in many ways, on many levels.
My relationship with Jason has changed. Relationships with my parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, friends, and so many other people have been changed since we’ve had children. Even my relationship with my Heavenly Father has changed.
Children are wonderfully messy, little bundles of crazy. They bring joy and solemnity to our lives, and hold the keys to blessing or cursing.
Whereas Jason and I once put our focus on each other in a give/receive relationship, now our focus is on these little ones who only take, and take, and take. Yes, here and there, they are learning to give, but right now they need us to give unsparingly of ourselves as we train them up to become children of God.
This constant giving means at the end of the day, I am exhausted. Sometimes I call it “touched out”. I’ve given so much of myself to these little ones that I feel as though I have nothing left to give Jason.
Some nights he comes home and the last thing I want is to give him a hug. When he comes up behind me, I just want to run.
I’m learning something. When he comes home and comes up behind me for a hug. He’s giving. I can stand in his arms and accept the love he is giving. He’s not asking me for anything in this moment, only giving.
Sometimes as moms we get so used to giving, giving, giving, that we don’t always know how to receive. Rather a gift feels more like a request and we don’t know how to simply accept with thankfulness.
The awesome thing is, when I let my husband give me love, I find myself relaxing and in the process I’m able return the love. It’s all in the mindset. Instead of feeling annoyed because one more person wants something from me, I began to feel blessed because my husband was giving to me.
Do you feel like children change relationships? Do(did) you feel closer or further from your husband after you had children?