Do you practice contentment in marriage? Are you rejoicing in what you have, or looking at other couples and wishing you had what they have?
Practicing Contentment in Marriage.
So many times I see other couples (and read other blogs posts) where the men look just amazing. They open doors, fix meals, sweep floors, and all sorts of other things that Jason just doesn’t do. Not that he’s horrible. But he don’t open doors for me. He walks in front of me and if I’m not fast, the door shuts in my face. And I have let it bother me, it’s made me mad, it’s spoiled dates (in reality, I let it spoil dates), and so much more.
So, I try to change him. (Don’t laugh ladies, no matter that we know it won’t happen, we have all tried to change our man). And when I am trying to change him, I begin seeing all sorts of stuff that needs fixed. His refusal to shower, how messy he is, his lack of manners. And what am I doing? Practicing discontentment.
In reality, we are always practicing discontentment or contentment in marriage. I don’t know about you, but I would far rather practice contentment in marriage, than discontentment. Have you ever sat and listened to a discontented person? They are miserable, and they will do their best to make you miserable as well.
I have a great man. We have a lot of fun together. Our teasing, picking relationship has been envied by our friends. Which brings me around to this. No matter how good some-one’s marriage looks, they have their problems too. While you are envying me, I am jealous of you, and so goes the vicious circle.
So let’s be content, and love the spouse we have. No, we will never change them, but who knows? Maybe someday they will see what you see and do the changing on their own!
Link up below for Matrimonial Monday!
Share posts that relate to being a Godly wife and homemaker!
Laurie Collett says
May 19, 2013 at 10:00 pmWe are all blessed, yet in different ways, in our marriage, because each of us is unique. If we focus on the blessings and not the imperfections, we are more likely to find joy and peace. Thanks for the great post & for hosting, & God bless!
momstheword says
May 20, 2013 at 2:31 amI loved what you said about practicing contentment. If we look for stuff to be unhappy about, we will find it. When I am annoyed at something my husband isn’t doing that I think he *should* be doing, I try to remember that I am not perfect and probably have plenty of things he’d rather I be doing too, lol!
Thanks for linking up to the “Making Your Home Sing Monday” linky party today! 🙂 Also, thanks so much for hosting!
Kate says
May 20, 2013 at 2:33 amGreat post! I love my husband to pieces! And I love looking around our church at all the happy couples and being thrilled that mine is also! God knew what He was doing when he brought us together!
Judith at WholeHearted Home says
May 20, 2013 at 3:31 amYou hit the nail right on the head!! Such words of wisdom!! Thanks for hosting this linkup today, Kendra. I always appreciate that you are on time (actually early) getting this up and running as I often don’t have time to come back later 🙂
Ugochi says
May 20, 2013 at 1:19 pmGreat words Kendra! We have to love our husbands unconditionally, we are not perfect ourselves are we?
Thanks for the party, have a super blessed day!
Love
Rose @ Walnut Acre says
May 20, 2013 at 1:31 pmThis is such an important reminder. Thank you for sharing it 🙂
Leslie says
May 20, 2013 at 3:28 pmKendra I love your new blog look! 🙂 Thanks for hosting the link up. Would you want to do a shared blog hop? If you are interested let me,know.
Renee says
May 20, 2013 at 3:51 pm100% agreed- I learned very early on that expectations were a stelthy killer to a happy marriage.
Kendra says
May 20, 2013 at 6:48 pmSo true! I had so many ideals when we first got married. So many things I thought should and would happen. I mean I had it down. And then I woke up 🙂
Beth says
May 20, 2013 at 4:49 pmI love that statement, “practicing discontentment.” When you put it like that we realize just how ugly that “practice” is, Kendra. I fall into this trap from time to time and, like you’ve pointed out here, it doesn’t work and it isn’t honoring to God or my husband. Thanks for the wise words here and I love the new look of your blog!
Fawn @ Happy Wives Club says
May 20, 2013 at 5:30 pmThe grass is always greener wherever you water it. I’ve always said to my husband, “I’m sure happy we have the greenest grass on the block.” And I could only hope others on our “block” feel the same way. no comparing…ever…nothing good can come from that.
Ngina Otiende says
May 20, 2013 at 6:41 pmKendra, I love this “I would far rather practice contentment in marriage, than discontentment”. Me too! The truth is, no one has it perfect. Two imperfect people cannot have a perfect relationship.
I am still learning.. But atleast am not where I used to be! Thanks for this reminder today.
Kendra says
May 20, 2013 at 6:45 pmYes! I often say this about hubby; “He’s not perfect, but he’s perfect for me!”
Rebekah says
May 20, 2013 at 11:25 pmtoo true Kendra! Great points here. You are right- we have all felt this way at one time or another. I have recently discovered though that aside from the fact that comparing our relationships to others does no good for us (or our men), Those perfect looking posts we see online are quite often not as perfect as they seem. Ironically I have experienced this many times where you will see really romantic stories, posts about how happy and perfect a marriage is, etc. and come to find out later those same posts I saw ended in divorces. It can be quite shocking how much struggle or suffering in a relationship can go on behind the scenes. Of course this doesn’t ring true for everyone, but I have experienced this at least 4 times in the past year where I was completely blown out of the water by relationships ending that I thought were perfect and had even at one point though wow they are so lucky. It just goes to show you that everyone has their struggles -even when it looks perfect. It totally changed my perspective on things and made me realize to focus on gratitude in my relationship even more. I always think that focusing on abundance of what we have is a better recipe for happiness than focusing on what we feel we lack. It can be hard to practice that 24/7 though and so I guess we are all forever a work in progress :D. One thing that I am grateful for (which I have learned is essential) is that my partner in life works at the relationship too. It didn’t always used to be that way but somehow we have both grown. I think the hardest thing would be if one partner works on things when the other one won’t. It’s a team effort that is for sure!
Connie says
May 21, 2013 at 5:47 pmWith all do respect, I disagree with everything you talk about in this post. We’re supposed to just let our husbands disrespect us and then it’s our fault for wanting/expecting better? The moral I’m gathering from this is that we need to be perfect for our men but we are supposed to settle for them slamming doors in our faces? Do you also agree with Pat Robertson’s philosophy that men just naturally stray and that it’s our fault when they cheat?
Kendra says
May 21, 2013 at 6:27 pmNo, we should not “let” them disrespect us. But there are far better ways to tell hubby that he has hurt my feelings than pouting and allowing it to ruin our date. And men are ultimately responsible for their actions. They are adults and make their own choices. The point of my post is to practice contentment. Marriage is for life, and I would far rather go through life accepting hubby’s quirks and enjoying all the fun we have together, than to be miserable because his family (don’t get me wrong, I love them) failed to teach him proper manners. Besides, heaven knows I am far from perfect and yet Jason loves me anyway. I have been downright evil towards him and yet he forgives without a grudge.
Bibi says
May 24, 2013 at 12:42 pmThank you so much for this encouraging post! I personally have been struggling with discontentment, in various areas of my life. I’m so glad i read your post!!
Kendra says
May 24, 2013 at 12:49 pmDiscontent has to be if not the top, then one of the top 3 ways, Satan keeps us from God. I struggle with discontent in many areas.
Bibi says
May 25, 2013 at 11:21 pmSatan has a lot of wicked ways to keep us from God.
Kasey says
May 28, 2013 at 9:26 pmThis is one of the best posts on this subject that I’ve read! I featured it on this week’s link-up at Walking Redeemed! Thank you so much for sharing your heart and encouraging us to take a fresh look at our attitudes toward marriage.