A couple months ago I shared how I missed the guy I married. When I realized that perhaps some of the issue was my fault and I begin focusing on the good, a few things happened.
One, I realized that I truly to have an amazing husband, not perfect, but perfect for me. Two, he began to be the man I thought I married.
Let me explain.
I started keeping a list of things I appreciated in him. I even blogged about him a couple times. In fact while one of the posts was in draft mode, I left the computer to fix supper. He came home and went back to the office and started watching videos. The thing is, the post draft screen was up and he read a bit of that post.
I know this because when I came back later to tell him supper was ready, I asked if he saved the page I was on. He got a very funny look on his face and said yes, he saved it. So I asked him if he had read any of it. Very funny look on his face now, and a forced casual answer that really didn’t say yes or no. He didn’t say anything more about it that night, and neither did I.
The next week he catches me going around the house, taking photos of all the things he had done for me or us. This was for the post Taking Pride in his Accomplishments. There was no beating around the bush this time! He asked what I was doing and I told him I wanted to show every one what an awesome hubby I have.
Want to know nerve wracking? Writing about someone as they sit beside you reading over your shoulder and making sure you get the facts right. Yes, he did!
The point in all this rambling, (I always have a point) is that things have changed. When he saw me publicly praising him, sharing how proud I am of him, he began to change. Not much, just a little at a time, but he changed. As I changed my attitude towards him, he changed his behavior towards me.
I think I may get it now. Understanding how my man works is still a walk in the dark, but I’m learning where the path is. I may not understand everything that he does, but I’m learning how to stay “on the path” of his good side.
Tweet this ~ By focusing on the good, I found the man of my dreams. Sure he’s not perfect, but he’s imperfectly perfect for me!
I feel incredibly blessed to be the Wife of my Husband. Blessed that the Lord created me for him, and blessed to be on this journey towards becoming the wife God created me to be.
House Pretty says
December 3, 2012 at 10:02 amOh my that is AWESOME! My husband and I have “things” as well. My issue is with him tuning me out. He says that, unfortunately, the more a person talks, the more people tune them out, sigh…
By the way, you mentioned in a previous post, you love to be notified of giveaways…well, I’m having a giveaway! It is running for this week only. Here is the link http://housepretty.blogspot.ca/2012/12/christmas-giveaway.html.
Kendra says
December 3, 2012 at 1:00 pmHaahaha! Hubby talks to himself ALL the time, and then when he talks to me I don’t realize it because I’m so used to hearing him talking. 🙂
And about the giveaway? I always look at recent posts first, and I saw it and clicked it. Then read the comment 🙂 hehe
Ugochi says
December 3, 2012 at 12:11 pmI can identify with this Kay!
I wonder why we always pick on the bad instead of praising the good?
I have learnt this and it has really brought some changes I never imagined possible. In fact I have an idea for a post right now!
Thanks for hosting us, have a super blessed day!
Love
Laurie Collett says
December 3, 2012 at 3:19 pmAmen! Every day I pray that my thankfulness for all of my husband’s good qualities will outweigh and suppress my tendency to be critical. Only through the Holy Spirit is this possible!
Thanks so much for visiting and commenting on Saved by Grace!
Your blog is a blessing and I am now following it, and I invite you to follow Saved by Grace also:
http://savedbygracebiblestudy.blogspot.com/
Love in Him,
Laurie Collett
Kendra says
December 3, 2012 at 6:19 pmHappy to follow you 🙂
jane says
December 3, 2012 at 3:57 pmBeautiful post Kendra!
Columba Lisa says
December 3, 2012 at 9:02 pmIt’s very difficult to change when those around us expect only negatives. But it’s hard NOT to change when our loved ones believe in us. What a great post!
Rina Peru says
December 4, 2012 at 8:44 amKendra, I, too, have learned to be intentional in giving my husband the attention and respect due him. To be honest, sometimes it takes a lot of effort, but it sure does improve things!
Kendra says
December 4, 2012 at 12:29 pmIt takes a lot of effort but as i have discovered in the past month, the pay off is huge!
I’m so glad you linked up.
Marlo says
December 4, 2012 at 10:05 pmgreat post. Thanks for sharing.
Rebekah Stephenson says
December 4, 2012 at 10:31 pmSo happy for you on this ! I think this is a big part of what made my relationship more awesome too. It’s that treat others the way you want to be treated concept. I think people tend to want to rise to the occasion more when give them praise or tell them we appreciate them. Glad you are finding the man of your dreams again.
Kendra says
December 5, 2012 at 9:14 amThanks deary 🙂
Kelly says
December 5, 2012 at 7:29 amGreat reminder to focus on the good! Something i need to put into practice!!!!
Kim R says
December 5, 2012 at 9:18 amI always enjoy reading your posts Kendra. It’s been awhile since I’ve joined you for Matrimonial Mondays but hopefully I can once again. It’s been a busy last few weeks! It’s Wednesday, but I linked up today!
Kim
Misty says
December 9, 2012 at 2:23 pmOh yes. If we don’t focus on the positive it is so very easy to dwell on the negative. This has a very negative effect on our marriages. Thank you for sharing and linking up at Simply Helping Him! Blessings!
What Joy Is Mine says
December 9, 2012 at 10:30 pmKendra…love this post. You offer such encouragement. Thank you for sharing at WJIM. Have a blessed week.
What Joy Is Mine says
December 9, 2012 at 10:37 pmYou are one of my features this week at Monday’s Musings. Glad to feature you.