If you have been married awhile, you probably already know this. I know I did. But really, there is nothing like being totally down and out of it, to bring out “Prince Charming” in your man. He wants to be needed.
Normally, I am very independent. Not that I don’t except and want help, but if no one is there to offer, I do it myself and never give it a second thought. I’m not saying I don’t wish to be pampered a little. In fact, were my hubby to bring me breakfast in bed, or some sweet thing like that, I would be in heaven! But it’s not his nature to do that, and not mine to expect it, so there is very little “pampering” in our relationship.
So last week, when I looked like this: (read here to find out why I looked so bad)
And this:
Haha! I do look rather bad right there. Hubby said it was worse the day before, but I’m not even sure I looked in the mirror that day.
Ok, so why am I showing you that? Well, to prove my point. I needed him that day, badly. It hurt to walk, and all I wanted to do was sleep and I couldn’t because it hurt.
When he saw how badly I needed him, how pathetically helpless I was; this guy who never does much to help me was falling all over himself to make me comfortable. He brought me water and a straw, an ice-pack, more covers, ibuprofen, rubbed my back, made me cream of wheat… Yeah, being sick is almost worth it, to get the royal treatment. (I did say almost).
He wants to be needed. Now I could argue that I need him all the time, and I really do. But most of the time, he doesn’t show up for me and I just go on my merry way. So my question is, and probably yours too, “How do we show him we need him all the time?”
I don’t mean that he has to baby me all the time, but how do I show him that he can be my knight in shining armor every-day?
My list is going to be different than yours, but it may get you to thinking about ways to show your man you need him, and also ways to show him you appreciate him.
- When he makes a “mad shopping run” so you can finish dinner, and doesn’t bring back the brand you normally buy, or he pays way to much for it. Thank him and tell him he’s the best. (If it’s a really big deal that he buys the right brand, then point it out the next time you are in the store together).
- Rather than impatiently trying to do it your-self, ask for help and when he finally does help, be sure to appropriately express your appreciation. (this will vary man-to-man)
- Damsel in distress works well in most cases. If there is a project I want done and he is taking his sweet time at it, I will often start it and “mess up”, then call him and say I think I did this wrong. After I tell him what I did, and listen to him tell me how I did it wrong. He will then inform me not to touch it until he gets home. Once he gets home, he then gets to “show off” how smart he is, I smile, nod and watch another project finally get finished!
- If you are really sick, he will often fall over himself to be your hero, but I don’t recommend getting sick. Even though he will do his best to make you personally comfortable, he will not understand that dishes in the sink and piles of laundry are not nice to have to catch up on.
So, every man is different, but I have learned my man rather well in some cases. I know that he wants me to need him, and he wants to be appreciated.
So how do you bring out “Prince Charming” in your man? Tell me in the comments below!
Link up any posts you may have relating to marriage and visit each other. What fun is a party if you don’t get to meet new people? Also, because there have been a lot of link and runs 🙁 I have decided that for next week I will be featuring the lesser clicked links. So make sure you visit other links and make sure they get lots of clicks 😉
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Thanks for the party once again Kay! Do have a super blessed day!
Love
I failed to read the post, was in too much of a hurry so I remembered and came back.
We really should learn the art of thankfulness towards our husbands.
My husband really likes to know, so he often asks me to tell him whenever I need him. Many times he appears like my knight but he often prefers me to simply ask him.
As a dental hygienist, I knew immediately what had caused your distress. Classic post-extraction attempt at a smile. Take comfort in knowing you’ll never have to do this again, and you’ll be better for having done it. It may not seem like it now, but trust me on this. I have many many more patients who wish they HAD gotten their wisdom teeth out than that they hadn’t. Blessings to you this fine day 🙂
You’re so right…our husbands do appreciate knowing we need them. And the beauty of living with them for many years is that we realize we really do need them! : )
Sweet story about you and your hubby. I’m so glad he takes good care of you, friend! And thanks also for this reminder. I need to be prodded every now and then to “need” my husband. I often forget, as I am a very independent woman like yourself. Great thoughts!
Great post! (so sorry you were feeling bad) I love to see fellow believers seeking the best for their marriages. Everyone likes to feel needed, I think we often forget this includes our hubbies. How blessed we are to have someone who wants to put our needs first. May we be that kind of wife right back!
My husband likes to be helpful, but like you I’m usually pretty independent. 🙂 He is great at electronics things like setting up the wireless router, the DVD player…and he will run out to the Walgreens on the corner when I run out of butter or eggs. He’s the best!
Gosh, I feel like I’m “lone man out” here. In some ways, I suppose, I’m very independent. I do all the painting, housework (my husband makes the beds up afte the sheets have been washed), I do most of the yard work. But, I like to be served, once I sit down at the table. As far as trying to do something and “failing” I’ve never done that. My husband is not the type of man to “get” those subtle clues, and I know it, and I’m not the type to “give” those subtle clues. I have always been pretty much an open book. My mother taught me to be that way.
I will admit that the more I go into Scripture, however, the more places I read what I would classify as “game playing” where God tells us not to say everything we know. Things like that. And it has confused me. So, now I have been trying to find that happy medium and pray for understanding of what I read.
That is nice that you are getting pampered! Matt and I are partners with most things, so we kind of trade off on the pampering. I used to never ever ask him for anything ,or to help with anything , because that is how my mom is. The past couple of years I have learned that I don’t need to be that independent. It’s ok to ask for things sometimes or to tell Matt what my needs are. (not that he never pampered me in the past, but it was mostly in the gift giving department that he did that). So now we do things for each other-like I do his laundry and cook for him, but on days when I am tired he will bring me dinner or wait on me. We also call or text each other (mostly text) to say sweet things or check on how each other is doing. My guy is def. more of a man’s man, and not so much the super romantic type, but when I tell him the things that are important to me, he makes a real effort (much better than the days where I always kept my mouth shut and never let him know!).
Hubs definitely knows I need him. Couldn’t do it without him!
Isn’t it manipulative to pretend to mess up, just to get him to do something? I find that an honest conversation between adults works best.
Honestly, in some cases it would be considered such. Many times I honestly do get in over my head.
This would certainly require the right circumstances though, and the right personality.
I’ve found my hubby needs a lot of prodding to accomplish something. I cannot simply ask for a
project to be done. I can nag, nag, nag, and build up resentment in both of us, or I can get creative.
As I mentioned in the article, this is different for each marriage.
Hi there!
I love your blog, it’s crammed with valuable thoughts and insights.
Concerning this pretending thing, I guess it’s pretty much transparent to your hubby that you use it as a kind of verbal “stimulus”. He must know it, because -given the depth of your relationship -he knows (and loves) you.
And that’s why I can’t think of this method as being deceptive, unfair or unkind.
Because your intentions are good, and are based on the profound knowledge of your hubby.
You realized that he reacts pretty well to this kind of approach, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
An action can’t be defined by only its face value. A lot more other things must be taken into consideration -as you have pointed out. Situation, personality, relationship…there’s always a lot to think of!:)
and you know, I cannot but praise the Lord, that we’re given all this complexity do deal with! It’s a great way to know each other better, to improve and to ask for His divine guidance.:)
Blessings,
Tina (from Hungary)
Thank you for your kind words. Situation, personality and relationship are huge things, and truly, what works for one may never work for another. So glad you stopped by 🙂
Love this post. And your suggestions. I always assumed Jeff wanted me to need him in one way, and you know what I mean. And frankly that annoyed me. Not that he didn’t help in other ways, but I assumed it was inconvenient for him to do so.
The other thing is I’m famous for getting irritated with him when he cleans or does a mad grocery run and he does it “wrong.” God has been dealing with me a lot on respecting him and making him feel loved. Not just loving him internally, but outwardly…
What an awesome reminder!
Oh I know… the grocery trip done wrong. 🙂 But I found out, once I had gotten upset with how he did something one to many times that
he would quite doing it for me. So now…. I just smile and thank him.