Mom’s lunchtime: Right before that blessed period called naptime, in which all moms look forward to a little peace and quiet; occurs a tragedy called lunchtime. This time of day is most taxing, and all moms who make it through, deserve a medal for bravery. However, the only badge most mom’s get for surviving mom’s lunchtime, is in the form of refused and flying food.
Mom’s Lunchtime ~A Tragedy:
Cast: A frazzled mom. A colicky baby. A busy toddler. And an energetic preschooler.
Location: A house that was “just cleaned yesterday” but looks like a tornado went through.
Curtains open on a messy living-room/kitchen area; the baby is crying while the toddler screams. The preschooler is saying she’s hungry. You cannot hear it, but the mom’s stomach has processed past growling and is now snarling because the toddler ate most of her snack.
Mom: Begins nursing baby while reading a book to the toddler to calm him down, the preschooler listens as well.
Baby: Finishes nursing and smiles at mommy.
Mom: Begins burping baby and also picks up toddler to place him in high chair.
Baby: Feels gas pains which causes him to stiffen out like a 2×4 and bonks heads with the toddler.
Mom: Tries to comfort both baby and toddler, and miraculously they both calm down. She puts toddler in the high chair and baby in the rock ‘n’ play.
Preschooler: Opens fridge and wonders what’s for lunch.
Toddler: Bangs hands on high chair while making a “joyful noise”
Mom: Tells preschooler the food options in the fridge, while getting spaghetty-o’s out for the toddler.
Preschooler: I think I want spaghetty-o’s.
Mom: Anxiously peers into the spaghetty-o’s bowl and decides there is enough for both kids. She warms the spaghetty-o’s, puts them out in bowls; then quickly dumps her food onto a plate and tosses it into the microwave.
Toddler: Refuses spaghetty-o’s.
Mom: Warms baby-food.
Toddler: Refuses baby-food.
Mom: Warms lasagna.
Toddler: Refuses lasagna.
Mom: Warms meatloaf.
Toddler: Decides he will eat meatloaf, only if mom puts it on the fork and then puts the fork on the tray.
Mom: Reheats her lunch and sits down. Puts another piece of meatloaf on fork for toddler.
Mom: Picks up baby and stuffs a bite of food in her mouth. Puts another piece of meatloaf on fork for toddler.
Toddler: Decides he’s full and smears the rest of the food around on his highchair tray and into his hair before throwing it to the dog. Then begins crying to be let down.
Mom: Juggles baby in one arm while hastily wiping the toddler down with a wet wipe, then mom lets toddler down.
Toddler: Goes and plays.
Preschooler: Asks if she can be done now.
Mom: Asks preschooler to take just one more bite.
Preschooler: Pouts, but takes a tiny bite and goes to play.
Mom: Sits down and stuffs a few more bites into her mouth.
Baby: Waaah! Burp. Then spits-up all over himself and mommy.
Mom: Grabs wet-wipe and cleans up baby.
Baby: Fills diaper.
Mom: Changes baby’s diaper and goes back to her lunch. It is cold so she reheats it for the 3rd time. She sits down and takes a bite.
Preschooler: Calls out that the toddler is headed up the stairs.
Mom: Jumps up, chases toddler and rescues him from the stairs.
Mom: Places toddler with his toys and goes back to her food. It is cold AGAIN. She makes a distasteful look, eats a few more bites and tosses the rest.
Curtain closes on the preschooler asking to play a game, the toddler crawling for the stairs, the baby crying, and the mom… Mom? Mom!?!
And, we have a run-away!
Note: The preschooler and toddler are two darling kids that I nanny and love dearly, however I am really only mom to the baby. Just to clear up any confusion. 🙂