When you hear the words “The Excellent Wife”, does your mind immediately think of June Cleaver, or some other woman who just seems to do it all?
I immediately see a woman who should be wearing a super-woman cape. Her house is spotless and her children are perfectly trained. She puts healthy well balanced meals made from scratch on the table every night. On Sundays she invites guests to wonderful dinners and is involved in several different ministries, Oh, and did I mention that she homeschools and runs a business from home to supplement their income?
Yeah, in my mind, that’s the excellent wife, the proverbs wife, the perfect wife. Sigh…. At any rate, that’s certainly not me.
Or is it?
Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The excellent wife, is a virtuous woman.
Describe Virtue: behavior showing high moral standards.
| synonyms: | goodness, virtuousness, righteousness, morality, integrity, dignity, rectitude, honor, decency, respectability, nobility, worthiness, purity; principles, ethics |
Who is the Excellent Wife?
The excellent wife is a virtuous woman. It’s her motives and heart that is being taken into account here, not her perfect home and family.
It comes down to how she loves and cares for her family, not the perfect foods (better is little where love is…). It comes down to the welcome that guests receive in her home, and not a showroom perfect home.
You see the truth is, when we are trying to do everything perfectly, nothing is done right. But when you focus on what’s important, then things go like they are supposed to.
I am not a perfect housekeeper. I found and chased down a ton of cobwebs on Friday. Cobwebs that I’m pretty sure have been there for some time. If I am lucky, my floors get swept once a week, more often it’s less than that. My bathroom gets cleaned when I can no longer stand the stench. lol
I try to serve healthy meals, I love cooking/baking and it’s something I’m good at. But, sometimes we throw it all to the wind and go eat somewhere like Buffalo Wild Wings. 🙂 Not healthy at all!
I love my friends, family and church and try to have people over as often as possible, but possible for me doesn’t seem to be very often. When the weekend comes around, I want to go home and sleep.
I can sew and do a good job at it, but I really don’t like to, and choose to pay some-one else to do it for me at times.
So looking at all of the above, it’s very obvious that I am not a proverbs 31 woman.
But:
My husband has clean clothes to wear. He gets fed. He has a wife who loves him and likes to be around him. He knows that he is the MAN in my life and that I call on him for help at times. His heart can rest secure in my love. All that other stuff, it’s just stuff, and it’s not that important. The heart is what’s important to him.
So I am a proverbs 31 wife. I am an excellent wife. Most likely you are as well. We just have to quit looking at the worlds standard of perfection and look at God’s standard. Of course, God’s standard is perfection as well, but it’s perfection in the heart, in excellence, and that’s where it counts.
This is so funny – I just found an old post I wrote about the Proverbs 31 woman earlier today! I needed your encouragement, thank you! I get so bogged down by the feelings of “I should have done that” that I forget about God’s grace toward me, and that it is my heart that He’s after and not how well I scrubbed the floors. 🙂
~Lisha
Thanks for hosting, Kendra. I always enjoy reading your blog. This post was so encouraging.
Oh yes, that Proverbs 31 women……..she’s certainly intimidating, isn’t she? Yes, our heart is what’s important to God. He made us and He has given us special gifts to use in our marriage to bless our families! Thanks for hosting today.
Thank you for reminding me that I don’t have to be perfect.
Oh Kendra…I love how you ended the post by affirming that you ARE a Proverbs 31 woman, and explaining that it’s NOT about perfection. And the only way to be the woman and wife and person God wants us to be is through humble surrender to God’s will and God’s word. May we all keep doing this better and better. Thanks for a great post and thanks for the weekly link up. Blessings to you…
I fall so short from “the mark” of outward proof of being the Proverbs 31 woman! I am so thankful to know that God doesn’t look on the outward appearance, but on the heart. The virtue He sees in our desire to be all He envisions us to be is what He seeks. Thank you for the gentle reminder of this today. I so appreciate the weekly link-up! God bless you today. Love, Cheryl
Hi Kendra,
Thanks for hosting Proverbs 31. I strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman. My husband knows he is #1 in my life behind God. When I aligned my priorities and put God first, and put the work into becoming beautiful inside to God, my husband sure did notice. It strengthened our faith and our marriage. I think this is a big part of leading your family sometimes (by heart and deed) as a woman. Blessings to you.
It all boils down to motives and how much we care for our husbands. And yes, it is not perfection that counts but our love for God that flows out to our husbands. Thanks a lot Kendra for this post and for hosting us again. Do have a super blessed day!
Love
Confession time – sometimes I cringe when I see the phrase “Proverbs 31” – I think it can be taken out of context, and almost turned into a works righteousness kind of thing. I love the way you have reassured all of us that we don’t need to kill ourselves by being the “perfect” wife.
Thank you. I tend to see the areas I fail in when the whole P31 thing comes up.
Blessings,
Laura
Harvest Lane Cottage
I really needed this! Thank you 🙂 I have just began reading The Excellent Wife and am in a small group of women taking a class where we read the chapters and talk about them and what they mean to us. Honestly…. I feel so lost :/ mainly because I am not a “perfect wife” a proverbs 31 wife and felt intimidated. But what you posted clicked and makes me feel encouraged! 🙂
I don’t think perfect is ever the goal… It’s the goal is to become perfectly imperfect. That is knowing your imperfections and realizing that while you can certainly strive to overcome them, you are already loved by a perfect God.
So glad you found encouragement here!
i have heard all women think that the Proverbs 31 woman is a little scary at first, that they become overwhelmed thinking they HAVE to do all those things. but, i looked at her with respect because i looked at as something to try to achieve as much as i can. however, God knows i am human and He also knows what i am capable of. in my opinion all He wants from me is to do what i can, try to do those things i think i can’t, and above all for me to love Him and have love in my heart for everyone i meet and know.