The “Jolly Old Elf” or the fat man with a fake beard better known as Santa Claus doesn’t visit our house. Of course he doesn’t visit anyone’s house and we all know it. But we just keep lying to the kids.
WARNING: I may step on some toes here, however I don’t require my readers to always agree with me.
Every year I find myself cringing. Kids that I watch tell me “Santa Claus is coming”. I overhear parents telling their kids that they better listen or Santa won’t bring them presents. I see the commercials, the movies and all of the other propaganda. And I cringe, because we are lying to the kids, plain and simple.
I know people call it traditions. Sounds good to me, lying is a sin and sin has been around since the fall of man. It’s a tradition all right, but it’s a tradition that needs to be broken.
I really find myself disliking that Jolly Old Elf and all of the lies that go with it.
The world says “Christmas is a magical time” But Christians say “Christmas is a time for miracles”. And what greater miracle is there than a baby being born of a virgin? And that baby is the Son of God. Christmas is a time for Miracles, not magic.
Here are some reasons why the Jolly Old Elf doesn’t visit our house.
#1. I want to teach my children truth. Proverbs speaks many times about truth: “buy the truth and sell it not”. Bible stories sound about as crazy as Santa Claus sometimes, but those stories ARE truth. I would hate to confuse a little mind about what is truth and what is fantasy.
#2. The threat that Santa only brings presents to good little children… Ugh! More lies. Even if the child threw a knock down, drag out fight right in the middle of Walmart, the threat that Santa won’t bring them gifts is pointless.
A. Santa doesn’t brings gifts, you do. and
B. You and I both know that child will still unwrap gifts from “Santa” on Christmas morning.
The way I see it is this; if the child will not obey during the year because they are taught to obey, then the threat of no gifts, isn’t going to make a difference.
I will teach the story of Saint Nicholas and how the legends turned into Santa Claus, there is good history there. But they will understand that Santa Claus is not real.
Christmas can still be a time of wonder and awe for children without the Jolly Old Elf and now this new creepy “elf on the shelf” thing. You can visit nativities that are set up here and there, you can even keep baby Jesus out of your nativity set up until Christmas morning. There are so many ways a Christian can bring awe and wonder to a Child’s Christmas that the Jolly Old Elf just isn’t needed.
Of course, I find myself in an awkward position. I watch kids from two different families. Both sets of kids believe in Santa and talk about him all the time ’round about now. I refuse to join in and will often change the subject completely. Here is what I try to do. I do not read any of their Christmas books that talk about Santa. Instead, I share the Christmas story with them and try to teach them about Jesus. It’s not my place to undermine what the parents have chosen to do, but I certainly do not have to participate.
I try to find a good balance. I honestly don’t push Santa much on my children because I don’t want to lie to them either. However, I do like to point out the similarities between Santa and Christ to my children. They both embody goodness, judgment, all-knowing, gift-givers, happy, etc.
To my mind, the modern incarnation of Santa is the complete antithesis of Jesus. Certainly there was a man named Nicholas who did many good works for the poor in the name of Jesus many years ago, however the modern (which I believe the real St Nicholas would have abhorred) is a far cry from this. Santa brings gifts to good children. Jesus offers a gift to all, no matter how good you think you are, or how naughty you know you are, and if you think you can be good enough to earn it, you’re sadly mistaken. Truth be told, it’s generally people who think they ARE good enough who are the ones who won’t receive the gift; not because it’s not offered to them, but because they don’t think they need it.
We never taught our children that Santa will bring them gifts if they are good. They know that daddy works hard to supply them with gifts, and because God has blessed us, we are able to give to our children on Christmas. Our children also know that its Jesus’s birthday, and it’s not all about us, but it’s about him. I’ve heard patents tell children that Saran is t real, and to not be afraid, but we make a big deal out of Santa Clause. I’m in my middle 40’s and thus man known as Santa has always been a disappointment to me and my family. He’s very unreliable. If Santa is so real, why are so many people shopping and going I to debt to support,y for their families?
I couldn’t agree with you more! We raised our children with the truth of God’s word and the true story of Nicolas, but refrained from the commercialized nonsense of modern Christmas traditions. I stand with you, dear friend, to encourage others to seek Godly convictions regarding holidays and fact vs. fantasy.
How would you suggest I tell the truth about Santa to my almost 9 year old son. I never wanted to tell him! Instead, my parents went against my wishes when he was about two/three and pushed the Santa thing, and neither me or my husband had the kahunas to stop it. Now, we want it stopped. It’s gone too far. I will not be lying to my younger two about Santa, but I need to tell my oldest. I just don’t know how. He actually still believes it all. Help!
Perhaps you could go to your local library, and find books on the history of Saint Nicholas. Being able to explain how Santa Claus came about may work for you. Likely he is a bright enough kid that once you start sharing the history and how doing good deeds like St Nicholas turned into Santa Claus, he will figure it out on his own.
That is a tricky subject. Because I’m guessing you don’t wish your son to pick up on your frustration towards your parents. I will be praying for you.
You could read the story about St Nicholas to your child and honestly, I think honesty is the best choice. Tell him you made a mistake because a lot of parents do Santa but God has convicted you not to anymore. I would ask your son to forgive you and tell him you can still have so much fun at Christmas without Santa. Years ago we participated in Halloween and then God convicted us that even Trick or Treating was wrong. When this happened my kids which hated Halloween anyway ( It was God affirming we were wrong) we sat down my oldest and told him why we decided to not participate again and what the Bible said. We were honest and asked forgiveness for ever exposing him to it. He was 6 at the time.
He never visited our house either. Our boys knew about him, but they also knew we bought and gave them the gifts. Funny story….when my oldest was probably 8 or so, a clerk in a store asked him if he had been good and if Santa Clause was bringing him lots of presents. He looked at her and said “Santa doesn’t bring presents, they are from my mom and dad.” The clerk’s jaw dropped and she looked totally shocked like she had never known Santa wasn’t real. LOL!
Growing up I wasn’t taught Santa (or all the other holiday characters) either. I knew about them because they were taught in school, but I knew my parents were the ones who got and gave the gifts. The ONLY one I believed in was the tooth fairy……until I caught my dad doing the tooth/money exchange one time. I was sneaky, he loved peppermint candy, so I left one under my pillow with the tooth, and stayed awake until he was home from work. Sure enough guess who? LOL! I told him too, so that was the end of the tooth fairy, from then on when a tooth came out I was handed the money in person, no more pillow exchanges. 😀
I completely agree Kendra. This was exactly our approach when we had our sweet little girl for 16 months. And she was completely content to celebrate Christ’s birthday over Santa!
Very good post! I shared what we do on my blog and so far it has been well received :). So many tell their kids not to lie then use Santa….it is such a contradiction.
I never told my boy Santa was real either, and that got me in a lot of trouble with my then mother-in-law. I ignored her though, and I think my son was happier knowing the truth. When he was about 6, we went to a big mall to look at the lights and decorations, and there was a ‘Santa’ on his throne, with all the these kids and mothers standing in line. Some of those kids were awful. My son looked at me like, “what is the DEAL with them?” I said, “Don’t worry, honey, that’s the behavior you get from a child when you raise them to be greedy little monsters who believe in a lie”. Yes, I should have kept my mouth shut, but I was fed up with all the screaming and whining. Let’s just say I got the ‘stink eye’ from a lot of parents!
Everyone is entitled to their opinions, I respect Kendra’s opinion and this article! Every Christian woman is different. Christmas is my favorite time of the year, and it was always a celebration of Jesus’ birth in my home growing up. But, my parents did not discourage Santa for me. I always got gifts from “Santa” on Christmas morning. And we left out cookies for him and carrots for the reindeer. Me and my husband have established a godly home, and it’s all about balance if you are going to tell your children that Santa is coming. We don’t have children yet, but I do plan on telling them Santa is coming. Of course we will have Jesus be the center of all our celebrations. But as an adult, I still believe in the magic of Santa. My parents didn’t discourage Santa, and I turned out just fine, but that’s just me. Every parent has every right to raise their children how they wish and how they feel will work best. Merry Christmas everyone!
Great post Kendra! I had a laugh at “creepy Elf on the Shelf” only because the same exact thought has gone through my mind. I remember last year my husband and I noticed it was a new trend and we both mentioned we thought it looked odd and that we’d be creeped out by that thing in various places in our house! I don’t do Santa with my kids either, and growing up he wasn’t big in our house. So when at 9 I told my good friend on the school playground that Santa wasn’t real, she was very upset and I was the “bad guy.” I do love the story of the real St. Nicholas though.
I agree wholeheartedly, Kendra! “Santa” isn’t real in our house, either. I want our daughter to know that she can always trust what we say as being truth. I want her to learn integrity, and how on earth is she going to learn that if her parents don’t even have it! Oh, and that “Elf on the Shelf”, is so creepy! It appearing in different places on different days. Gosh, if we spent some of the time we spend doing such foolish things, we might actually have some time to start decluttering our homes! Sorry about the rant, but I’m basically up to you know where with the commercialization.
I DO believe in Santa Claus, or at least, his memory. He WAS an actual person, and if you are catholic, his feast was just celebrated on December 6th. I believe he’s in Heaven now, so technically he DOES exist, just not here on earth. I also believe that one day, when we get to Heaven, we will see St Nicholas, or Santa Claus, as most people call him. Just my two cents worth.
Merry Christmas,
Peggy
St Nicholas day in our Catholic home is for putting out your shoes on the front porch the night before and waiting for St Nicholas to ride by on his horse and bring you a small treat (little gifts, gold chocolate coins, tiny bibles, etc.). Some families even leave carrots for St Nicks horse. The real St Nicholas was a bishop, miracle worker, defender of virgins, friend to children and (funny enough) punched a heretic in the face when he blasphemed Christ. He was stripped of his bishopric for this. Jesus and Mary appeared to him afterward and Jesus asked him, “Why were you persecuted?” St Nicholas said, “Because I love you, Lord.” And Mary placed the mitre and stole back upon him. When church leaders saw this, they reinstated him. We have the Nicene Creed (a universal prayer, whether you are Catholic or not) because of this. So St Nicholas day is our “funny haha”, with a wink and a nod.
CHRIST-MASS (which is where the term Christmas comes from) is alllllll about Jesus. It’s a giant birthday party where we give gifts in honor of His gift to us. “Santa” has no truck on that day.
I just wanted to say that I was raised in a very Godly home by a strict Pentecostal pastor and my parents did allow us to believe in Santa, however the real meaning of Christmas was always made the most central reason for our celebration. Fast forward 20+ years and 3 kids later, my now teenage girls were raised the same way and have had no risidual effects from it. They do not feel we “lied” to them, nor do I feel my sweet parents “lied” to me. They are both followers of Jesus just as I am. We also have a 5 year old and we have all had a lot of family fun participating together in the “elf on the shelf”. My son nor my daughters consider the elf “creepy”. He is the first thing he looks for in the morning. It has been a family game, and that is the extent of it. When you ask my son the real meaning of Christmas he tells you that it is the day we remember Jesus, but more importantly in our house we decorate in candy canes and he knows exactly why, he can tell you that we were all born into this world dirty and we needed the red blood “cells” of Jesus to cover us(his words-I homeschool the kids) to make us white again. To me that is the bottom line. None of the rest of this matters. (John 3:16)
In addition, we spent many years in Germany when I was a child. There the tradition of St. Nicholas is celebrated on December 6. He dresses in a red and white costume and brings candy to children when you leave your shoes out. Then on Christmas Eve you celebrate Christkindl, where you are given presents while you sleep. This is the traditions we grew up with. It was a very special time in my life and a tradition I think is very important to share with my children.
I hear you! I don’t mind Santa as long as it’s just in fun and no one is deluded into thinking he’s real!
What do you tell them about the tooth fairy & the Easter bunny? While I do agree with to a point, I believe kids these days are losing their sense of imagination. How do you keep them from losing their imagination?
No tooth fairy or Easter bunny. As far as imaginations go, it really seems to be in the toys you choose for them. Believe it or not, as kids my brothers and I all “knew” that our stuffed animals came to life while we slept and this was all without stories like Toy Story an others.
Movies, video games and things like that were not a part of our lives until we were much older.
My friend and I were certain that our toys came to life while we were sleeping LONG before Toy Story! We would try to stay awake but be still and silent (super easy for 4-5 year olds LOL) so we could catch them!
Thank you Courtney and Peggy! I agree with you!!
my five year old son asked me why there are so many santas around, and i informed him that because the real santa is so busy up in the north pole getting ready for christmas, he needs lots of helpers all over the world. so he has helper santas and elves strategically located in malls and christmas parties to do his work. they then convey the childrens’ wishes to the top santa so he can get their presents to them. kids also love writing letters to santa–it keeps the dream alive! i am not looking forward to the day that my children realize that santa is not “real.” i don’t remember it being a traumatic experience for me, i just realized that, well, the story of santa came from a real person and that’s good enough for me. also, show your children that there are many good, generous people in the world–including them, and i don’t think losing that dream of santa will every truly happen!
I was grew up hearing about Santa Claus, but we also grew up with the true Christmas Story. Never once did I consider my parents ‘lying’ to us when they talked about Santa. I always knew people could not come down chimneys. Really! We were never traumatized when we knew he was pretend. Some things in life often are termed ‘evil’, simply because we have no experience/knowledge/exposure of them. It is all in what you do with the information you are given. We have chosen not to do the ‘Santa’ thing in our home, not because he wears red, is imaginary, represents the devil, or whatever label you wish to use. We simply present Jesus Christ as the Incarnate One of God. The more steam we generate on things not of God, the more time, focus and energy we expend on them. Use that energy to promote Jesus as Lord and Saviour. Then those things that are not of God, will pale away.
I love that. And truly, isn’t that what we as Christian parents want to do for our children? Focus so much on who God is that everything else just fades away! Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Yeah, we don’t do the Santa thing either. I
Kendra, I’m sort of with you. Mainly I am, as I’ve grown in Christ I’ve realized it’s not right to lie. At the same time I grew up with Santa Claus, my parents and family got really into it and it was honestly SO MUCH FUN. I know that my parents will want to do it and I also really don’t want to raise the kid that spoils it for other families. Because I’ve realized it’s a game.
A few years ago I was agonizing over this (because that’s the kind of person I am, I think things out way in advance, so I wasn’t even married yet but was debating how to handle Santa Claus with my kids) and I was asking my friends who grew up in strong Christian families what they did. And my best friend said her family did Santa… with a wink. She never believed in him. She kne it was a game. Something was from Santa… nudge, nudge, wink, wink. It was a game!
So that’s become my plan. I’ll teach my child about Santa… wink, wink. I’ll make sure she always knows the truth, but also feels permission to enter into the game of imagining it’s true. That way she can let our relatives give gifts “from Santa” and participate in the fun without giving them some lecture from me, but I also don’t have to worry about her thinking Mom and Dad are lying to her. If she directly asks, I’ll directly answer, but I’ll also explain to her it’s an elaborate imagination game that adults play with kids.
And of course we’ll focus on Jesus and make sure she understands the true reason for Christmas and the real gift to humanity.
This made me smile Pamela, I’m the exact same way. Stressing over what I’m going to do long before it happens 🙂
We don’t do Santa Claus in our house. My husband really wanted to do it, but I kind of just did my own thing. We do foster care and last year we had kids ages 1-4 and just ignored the whole thing (Santa, not Christmas). This year we have our son that is 2, and 6,9, and 11 year olds. We were walking to school one day in September and the youngest asked how Santa got down the chimney. I was not planning on dealing with the Santa thing before talking with my husband more, but I realized I was not going to lie to them. I couldn’t be telling them that magic isn’t real, and then answer their question with “magic”! I tell my son that Santa is pretend like Iron Man or Spider Man. I don’t think he gets it yet, but he did say at the parade yesterday “Man dressed like Santa!” We still read Santa stories and watch Santa TV shows, but I always make a point of saying its pretend, and that its a fun game we play.
If I ever DID decide I was going to tell them Santa was real (not these kids, but other kids) he would NOT bring them gifts if they were naughty.